Holding the Perfect Thought

The holidays have been transformed for me – twice.

Thirteen years ago this December, when I was seven months pregnant with my second child, my mother was fine one minute and gone the next, and for years, even after I was over the grief of losing her, Thanksgiving would creep up on me and the feeling of dread would creep in, and I would feel myself getting grumpier and more critical of everything. I hated Christmas.

Today, Christmas has been transformed again, as I live from a deep, abiding awareness of the Light within, that is the birth of joy.

My perfect thought today is that I live with the clarity, focus, ease and grace to move into each moment allowing the best I can be to recognize, serve, and reflect the Eternal Light in everyone I meet., radiating love to all.

My experience this year allows me to imagine how good it would feel to know that certainty in every moment, no matter the circumstance.

It is easy in some circumstances. Even some surprising ones. I sat in a business meeting today, seeing a colleague through the eyes of God – as a perfect expression of Divinity. This middle aged, graying, obese man, looked to me as precious as he must to his Creator.

Other times, it is not so easy. Criticize me, judge me, cut me off in traffic, or worse, judge or criticize my child or do anything that might hurt one of them. Then it is less clear, less easy. But still possible.

Aligning my thoughts and emotions with joy – even if it is a small step at a time – even if it is going from anger to something only incrementally more positive, brings relief, and a reminder of what is possible when we reach for the Divine Eternal and it reaches back.

And each and every time I practice moving toward joy in a challenging moment, I find relief. And it gets easier and more fluid, and I remember the next time more quickly.

I take the gift of this Christmas transformation with me into the rest of my life and the rest of every year. I hold the perfect thought that this coming year is a time of positive transformation for all of us, no matter what.

Did you ever had a dread of the holidays? Did you ever wish it was just all over? Ever wish you didn’t have to go to the big family hoopla that always turns into far less fun that it looks like on the Hallmark channel?

Yeah. Me too.

So here’s how I got past all that, and landed in a place that allows me to look forward to whatever the day brings on any given day, holiday or not: gratitude, forgiveness, compassion, and therefore oneness. These are our ingredients for healing, and that is what will allow us to live in joy – to enjoy – our life experiences – when we heal our separation in consciousness from our Source.

Here’s how it has worked for me.

My mother died very suddenly on a Dec. 11 over a decade ago when I was seven months pregnant. Christmas was never the same. I live in a city with my husband’s family nearby, and none of mine. Though I had always loved their family gatherings on the holidays, I found in the coming years that I resented the family holidays that we participated in, mostly, I think, because my mother was missing from them. I began to get really grouchy around Thanksgiving as the anniversary of my mother’s passing loomed before me.

Over time, I healed the part of my grief that kept me in holiday ick through understanding how grateful I am that my husband’s family likes to have big holiday hooplas so my kids have that experience, and I (who have no interest in producing big family hooplas) do not have to provide it. I forgave my mother for leaving me. I forgave myself for so many things, not the least of which was being so darn grouchy during the holidays. I forgave others. All of them. No matter what. And I continued to forgive myself and others as new things came up that gave me the opportunity. I centered my awareness in a compassion for my husband, his family members, my children, and every person I meet, allowing myself to see in them the part of myself that is in alignment with our Divine Common Source – even if only after I have that negative thought about them. And I steep my mind in the words of wiser people than I so as to remember to practice this process every moment of every day. And when I forget, I am grateful to know it is never too late to forgive myself and enter into an experience of compassion and oneness and love.

Like so many things I seem to be learning about these days, I find it is not always easy, but it is simple.

I find myself holding the perfect thought of my ability to live in alignment with God, our Source, more and more of the time. I hold it for you too.  For if we all reach a place from which we are living in alignment with our Divine Source, peace will prevail on Earth. 

“If God be for us, who can be against us” – Romans 8:31 No one, I tell you, for God is All There Is, and we are One with All.

I am holding the perfect thought of Peace and Blessings to you this and every day. Happy Holidays. No matter what.

I’ve been thinking a lot about those pesky paradoxes in our dualistic world, and I finally decided to put you through what’s been going on in my mind!

As you know if you are one of my regular readers or you’ve read the initial post, Holding the Perfect Thought was a phrase that came to me from my mother, and when I was younger I thought it meant I will hope for the best outcome for you.  Today, I have a deeper understanding that is riddled with complexities and paradoxes, yet it seems more important than ever to me.

I’ve been listening to Wayne Dyer in my car this past week or so as I drive all over central Kentucky and Southern Indiana (Hello Evansville and Bowling Green friends!).  Someone asked him in a Q & A session about the paradox between visualizing what you intend to create in your life and getting in the way of your connection to the Divine Source (aka God) by focusing on what you want.  I was thrilled when he said basically, “Yea, Buddy, I don’t know either, but there it is, both are true.”

That speaks to the heart of the conflict I have about Holding the Perfect Thought.  Is there a perfect thought?  Is it the same for every situation?  Is it about picturing your goals as completed?  Does that get in the way of your Higher Purpose?  No matter how perfect I think a thought is for me, is it perfect for you too, at every moment, or do we have different perfect thoughts for different times in our lives?  Yes to all!  And therein lies the paradox!

In my mind, for me today, the only perfect thought revolves around the idea that I come from Divine Source (God), God is always with me, in me, working through and as me.  (I am completely aware that you may not perceive these as your perfect thoughts today, but it is my blog, so we’re going with mine.)  Emmet Fox, the well known spiritual teacher and leader said in his The Golden Key, “Stop thinking about the problem, and think about God instead.” 

“God is Love.”  Perfect thought.  “God lives in me.”  Perfect thought.  “I am part of God’s self expression, and therefore I am here to do great works of Love.”  Perfect thought.  “My work is God’s work.”  Perfect thought.  These perfect thoughts are definitely worth holding, because as spiritual leaders and psychologists alike will tell you, we become what we think.

For most of us, 21^st century life is a little complicated, and it is hard to take these perfect thoughts and make them applicable to our daily lives in a way that we perceive moves us forward toward the life we are trying to create for ourselves.  We want to know what to DO.  Though we may easily focus on these thoughts in prayer and meditation, we also want a little more info!  We want a to-do list!  Before we can make a to-do list that will take us to the next level of our development, we must know we are thinking in the right way.  Emmet Fox said that the pertinent question to ask oneself is not what to do, but how to think.

So, that is exactly the lesson of the perfect thought paradox:  we must think only in terms of our Divine Source as our nature, not of our problems and human issues, in order to get to our to-do list and make progress in our human lives as we work on our issues and goals!  Here is how we apply it in our lives:

Step 1:  Accept and know in your heart that there is only One Presence, One Power happening in the universe, God, Ultimate Good, Love, Complete Abundance and it is from this that you come.  If God is All There Is, Complete Abundance, then lack, poverty, illness, disharmony have no place in God nor in you. Let go of any statements that pop into your mind that start with BUT.  There are not BUT’s in this one.  We may want to talk about letting go of old ideas and forgiveness another time.  For now, just go with it:  Hold the Perfect Thought that God is All, God is Love, and God is Good and Everywhere Present.

Step 2:  Go into the prayerful silence with Emmet Fox’s Golden Key – perfect thoughts of the nature of God – and with the purpose of communion with Source.  Wayne Dyer calls it getting into the gap between thoughts and suggests using “Our Father” focusing first on the word “Our”, then on the word “Father”, and then backing up into the space between the words.  I also like to just pray to God, “Fill my awareness with your Divine Presence.”  Then, as you close your prayer, ask for guidance to your perfect waking thoughts.  Allow God to show you the most important thing for you to focus on – in thought and action -  today.  Hold the Perfect Thought that God is with you, God is helping you, God is guiding you, you are One with God, and you know what is yours to do. 

Step 3:  With pen and paper, write down what you are led to think and do.  Let the words flow from your perfect thoughts in prayer.  Make goals, knowing these are part of the plan.  Never give up on Good.  Know it is never too late to start.  Hold the Perfect Thought that you are guided by God to do exactly what you are here to do in your Best Work.

Step 4:  MOVE!  With joy, with enthusiasm, with great anticipation of the Good you are creating in the world as you do your Divinely Inspired work!  Anticipate the abundant harvest that will come from the “getting busy” you will now engage in.  Imagine what your world will look like when your goals are done!  Feel how good you will feel when these God-inspired to do lists have been completed!  AND GET MOVING!  We cannot just contemplate and expect change.  We are expressions from God in this world, not just in a spiritual realm.  So many have pointed out that we are spiritual beings having a HUMAN experience, so get out there and make a difference in your human world.  Hold the Perfect Thought that your actions are creating God’s Good manifest in this world, and be deeply grateful that you are aware of it enough to participate on this level.

I am Holding the Perfect Thought of each of you receiving Abundant Good as you move through the world, connected to your Divine Source and spreading Love, Light and Life as you go.

Today I read, “Your self-talk ‘the words that you use to describe what is happening to you, and to discuss how you feel about external events’ determines the quality and tone of your emotional life.” – Brian Tracy

It’s another way of saying the thoughts we hold onto influence our experience of reality. Or how you respond to what happens is a choice not to react without choosing. Or, it is worth it to attempt to hold the perfect thought.

“Self talk” as Brian Tracy refers to the things we say to ourselves, and then generally to anyone who will listen, is all about the thoughts we are holding on to.

Are you holding on to thoughts that will feed your enthusiasm for life? Are you holding on to thoughts that will ramp up your positivity? What are you telling yourself about what is happening?

As much as I talk about “Holding the Perfect Thought” it is important to understand that I don’t believe there is ONE perfect thought for everyone in every situation. The question is what is the thought, what is the story, what is it that if you told yourself THAT about your life, your life, and the lives of those around you, would be improved, enlightened, uplifted?

That will be your perfect thought in that moment. “I am willing to be an optimist – to look for the good in every situation and person I meet” might be the perfect thought when I have been disappointed by someone who didn’t follow through as they had promised.

Many have pointed out that the mind can hold only one thought at a time. So guess what happens when you consciously choose to look for the good? You find it.

So, the perfect thought for you in any given moment is the one which helps you choose to move forward in a positive way – move closer to love, forgiveness, healing, success, prosperity, generosity, charity, gratitude.

Thank you for joining me on my journey to a daily, continual discovery of my perfect thought in each moment!

I have expereinced lots of good changes lately, and I have become aware that the things that come into our lives that we easily categorize as good, are changes that are relatively easy to feel grateful for. I am grateful I have released 60 pounds this year. I am grateful that my blood pressure and cholesterol are down. I am grateful my level of pain is reduced. Easy.

I am aware that it takes more effort to feel grateful for changes that are not as automatically experienced as good. Changes in my job, changes in compensation, loss of lives held dear in one’s heart, changes in our children’s health.

My lesson today is that whether change is fun and delightful – as my 11 year old would say – easy peasy cotton cheesy – or whether it is more challenging – it is the container for Good. Even if it is only that this change moves out the bad to make room for some good – it is good.

I read a story today about Zig Ziglar, arguably one of the most quoted people and beloved motivational speakers of the last 100 years. Everyone who knew him swears he was as wonderfully positive all the time as he was on stage speaking to an audience. This story said he answered his phone at home, “This is Jean Ziglar’s happy husband!”

The story also said that he grew up one of eleven children, and that his father died when he was six years old, leaving his mother to raise them all in abject poverty. Wow. Change that might not be easy, I am thinking.

But Zig Ziglar became who he was because his mother instilled in him a work ethic, an attitude of gratitude, as he taught us all to say, and a knowledge that he was loved by her and his Divine Creator.

I am holding the perfect thought that no matter what changes dressed up as challenges come into my family’s life, I am equally able to teach my children gratitude and unconditional love.

I am holding that perfect thought for any who read these words too.

Happy Day!